HOW TO CREATE YOUR OWN BOOK COVER ..... FOR FREE

HOW TO CREATE YOUR OWN BOOK COVER FOR FREE

article written by Felica Devers copyright 2014 

NO PERMISSION GIVEN TO COPY, DISTRIBUTE OR TRANSMIT THIS ARTICLE IN PART OR IT'S ENTIRETY WITHOUT PROPER ATTRIBUTION TO MYSELF, FELICA DEVERS.

using public domain photo from http://www.public-domain-image.com/wallpapers-public-domain-images-pictures/fluoresce-figures.jpg.html

As a writer/ author looking into self publishing, having a COVER for your book ranks at the top of your priority list right under where are you  going to self-publish our now finished book.

As a writer and aspiring novelist myself who has already taken to self publishing some of my poetry and early chapters of a current novel I  am writing, I have found that creating my book covers myself has been cheaper, easier and more fun than paying someone else to create one for me.

I decided to write a on how to create your own book cover using FREE online tools available to anyone with a laptop and wifi access because I have come across soo many writers with questions about design and prices. 

Plus when you look at the book covers of what books are already on brick and mortar book store shelves, you will notice many covers are pretty straightforward looking. 

 For example, check out these covers of some bestselling books:

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YOU CAN'T HANDLE A REAL WOMAN! post redux.....

I am reposting this because my birthday made me realize more folks need to read it for the first time!

I DID NOT WRITE THE ESSAY below, but dayum I wish I had!!!

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" 

She doesn't care what you think.  

If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. 

She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.  

A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40 give a hoot what you might think about her or what she's doing.  

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PRE TEEN GIRLS, CUTE BOYS, MEDALS AND CUPCAKES

I should be awarded the MEDAL OF COURAGE AND BRAVERY FOR HANDLING SHIT UNDER INTENSE AND STRESSFUL CONDITIONS...

Today I hosted playdate for two gifted, highly articulate, opinionated, Minecraft obsessed pre-pre-teen girls. We went out for lunch and whilst the two girls sat discussing a certain wee adorable, male schoolmate... who walks in the lunch establishment but said wee cute recently discussed little homie....I had to calmly under my breath, verbally restrain my young boy-crazy offspring to lock her ass to her seat and let the young fella and his family enter and order before she attacked him with her loads of pre-pre-teen boy crush energy.

Then we returned to my apartment and made cupcakes.  Good times....

Anyway, here are a few adult things that make me shit and grin or on a full moon, grin then shit.

CALIFORNIA WATER DROUGHT HEROES

Now I reside in the lovely, sunny, Pacific coast beach having and currently water deprived state of California.

For the past 6 months or so, I have been literally blitzkrieg-ed by every news & media outlet calling sunny California home, advising every California resident to do their fair share to help us all survive the severe drought the state is experiencing.

And as usual when a severe and potentially damaging situation arises, out of their dried brush covered Bat Caves come hordes of capes flying in the breeze, Captain Save-A-(insert major issue of your choice).
In this case, the state of California has been inundated with a scary, large and stupidly comical mass of folks who feel it is their civic duty to keep their eyes peeled for their neighbors and other traitors of the CONSERVE WATER republic.

These annoying, self-appointed, George Zimmerman's of water conservation, now take photos of their neighbors and others their eyes spy watering their lawns during "illegal and banned water hours" and post these photos of  precious drops of water running from brown lawns down to gray cement sidewalks online to social media sites to attempt to shame these WATER CONSERVATION TRAITORS ala crime pages filled with photos of pedo's residing in your neighborhood that you may want to avoid.

These folks are soooo serious about what they are doing and their efforts could be seen by some as admirable but their watering shaming pics are NOT WORKING.

Tattletales Use Twitter to Shame California Water-Wasters

It is kind of a sad commentary that in a state with huge and life changing budget issues, a handful of cities having filed or nearing needing to file bankruptcy and large corporations running from the California en masse to Twinkie frying State Fair loving  flyover states to save a buck that shaming homeowners attempting  to keep their front lawns green and thus their home value up is considered treason.

FROZEN BITCHES & GRUMPY CATS

Sunday is my favorite day of the week.

I lie. I do not have a favorite day of the week.  All days of the week have the opportunity to present me with stupid people, other folks drama and other situations taking time away from me focusing on my favorite topic.... me.

I read about the lawsuit filed by the dear lady who wants to sue Disney because she claims they stole her life story to make the animated Disney juggernaut creatively titled, FROZEN.

I say go girl, Hollywood doesn't have a creative bone in their collective pulled, tucked, botoxed, silicone filled, lipo'd bodies.

Hell yeah, they stole your life story about living in the snow, with a sister, around talking snowmen and occasionally breaking out into female empowerment songs in a voice sounding eerily similar to that of golden throat powerhouse singer, Idina Menzel.

Girl, fight Disney tooth and nail for what you feel is right and fair..... and for snow's sake, never LET IT GO!

I sometimes feel I should obtain my own attorney and file a similar suit.

That damn uber popular feline lovingly called GRUMPY CAT stole my "bitch please, not today" schtick.

If someone should be famous and rich for being a grade A certified grump BITCH, it should be ME!

While I continue to mull this one over ...please feel free to enjoy one of my favorite GRUMPY CAT memes.

SCANDAL'S JAKE & OLIVIA ... MORE SEX PLEASE?????

That's right, I said it.

 I watch the hell out of writer/producer/show creator, Shonda Rhimes personal Arc de triomphe, SCANDAL or as it translates in Spanish, Escandalo. 

SCANDAL is Thursday night TV's immensely popular and polarizing drama set in Washington DC and filled with Mensa league levels of  political fukkery and then doused with heavy doses of actual acts of fukkery... 

You can't help but be hooked, unless you are someone who only watches television shows on networks that begin with a "B" or a "P" and the shows are filled with characters nearing the centuries old mark in age (shows with sexy centuries old Vamps do not count) and you have something against hot (ok, Cyrus is kinda hot in a surly old white haired chest, burly bear way) people of all age ranges, politics, lying, blackmail, greed, adultery, murder, homosexuality and  like I mentioned earlier literal hot, panty dropping fukkery.

I must confess, I held out on jumping into watching SCANDAL for the entire first 2 seasons. Then one child-free weekend earlier this year-2014, like the call of a siren to some dumb scabees infected pirate schmuck, I succumbed to the lure of watching nearly 30 back to back episodes of SCANDAL via Netflix.

That weekend I watched the first 2 seasons in their entirety and even re-watched certain scenes and episodes repeatedly to make sure I had not missed a word, an inflection, a clue, a glance, a grope, a kiss....

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short story- DEATH BY TEMPTATION by Felica Devers

DEATH BY TEMPTATION

Original Short Story written by Felica Devers

Copyright 10/2014

She felt a presence in the room as soon as she entered.

She squeezed the small book she held in her hand tightly before walking through the night shadowed room towards the bed. She lay the book gently on the bed and started as she heard a voice come from the area near the window.

“ Beautiful.” The voice said.

“What?” she echoed.

“Beautiful, you are very beautiful, but of course you know that.”

“What are you doing here?” she asked as she turned slowly towards the disembodied voice.

“That’s a very silly question, don’t you think? We both know why I’m here. But of course, if you truly do not know, I could show you.” he said softly as he moved from the darkness into the moonlit shadows.

Her breath almost caught in her throat, as she saw him fully. He was tall and truly beautiful, but she thought weren’t they all?

“You are wasting your time.” she said with conviction.

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THE VAMPIRE DIARIES, BIPOLAR PAIN...TURNING IT OFF...

I just finished binge watching the first 5 seasons of a CW show called THE VAMPIRE DIARIES...beware spoilers..

whenever my anxiety has me unable to leave my apt..I end up binge watching stuff on NETFLIX....

In the past several years a lot of external stuff in my personal life has exacerbated my already difficult issues so bad that I felt like I literally had to go into robot/zombie mode to deal.....I could function as long as there was minimum drama, no surprises, I had a modicum of control over the location, situation.... my emotions became flat...my energy level nosedived and my urge to do anything creative or exciting has stalled...

my point.. I made it to this specific episode of the Vampire Diaries ( STAND BY ME-season 4 ep.15).....

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SERIOUSLY...go whine to the Jobless...

1st WORLD PROBLEMS- 19M UNEMPLOYED..hit a hole in one on that figure, Sir...Obama was snubbed @ some top golf clubs http://t.co/h9qV9PVAtY
— felica devers (@the_felica_show) September 10, 2014

WTF! HUMP DAY HEADLINES

Sometimes, when I think I've heard it all, some common sense deprived fool has to go and ring the bell reminding me that not every human being is a keeper....

1. Boy charged with simulating sex act with Jesus statue...
I would love to say more about this headline, but I think it speaks for itself... except to say this: no one can state definitively whether Jesus actually had sexual relations in his 33 years of life as a human being on earth....but I'm pretty sure he was not a PEDOPHILE!

NEXT!!!!!

2. Welfare recipients can use debit cards to buy marijuana...

NEXT!!!

3. Justin Bieber Gets Naked at 'Fashion Rocks'...  Crowd Boos...
Justin's parents should be raked over the coals...one I know this show was past his nap time and second. save sharing naked photos of your baby boy's butt for your Facebook account...

   
NEXT!!!

4. More women waiting until 50 to have children...
I love children, I have one myself....would I recommend beginning the process of raising a fresh crumb snatcher at the age of 50....nope!