CHUCK E CHEESE SLOTS & SHOTS REDUX

Wednesday, September 3, 2014



THIS IS A REPOST FROM 2009-- it may be an OLDIE but it still a GOODIE..

Let me just begin by saying, I hate Chuck E Cheese and it’s brain numbing audio/visually over-stimulating, bacteria infested, environment designed for kids. Chuck E Cheese is marketed as the ultimate in children's amusement ( arcade games, amusement rides, animatronics show) with the added bonus of also being a sit-down pizza restaurant.

(With the occasional sighting of a cute single dad aside), I get hives just thinking about having to spend a precious two hours of my life dropping money on tokens then weaving through throngs of little people, (and their nipping at their heels parents) while chasing my now manic, uber -stimulated 6 year old around blaring, flashing, headache inducing games and rides.


Nolan K. Bushnell, the guy who founded Atari Games and the Chuck E Cheese franchise, must hate parents. If he didn't, why would he create a place, marketed with yet another ( I’m too big for my britches) performing rodent? I will concede that children LOVE Chuck E Cheese, so in fairness to them, I am going to give the Pro’s and Con’s of the Chuck E Cheese Establishment as I see them:

1. PRO- Because so many wee ones are within 2 feet of each other sneezing/coughing on rides and games, wiping noses on sleeves, placing fingers in noses, pants and then onto the rides and games themselves, this venue should have an astronomically high and varied germ/bacteria count and content. This can come in handy when it’s my daughters’ booster shot time and I want to avoid the drama of shots at the Dr’s office. After spending even half an hour in this place (and exposure to every germ present on the nastiest kid), my daughters’ immunity should be able to withstand even the world’s most dangerous diseases, all without the tears and pain of being poked by the DR’s needle.

2. CON- If your child has a weak immune system to begin with, #1 could be also considered a CON.

3. CON- I think it’s extremely mean and cruel to constantly get my heart racing and my excitement levels up by simulating the pleasing sound of winning slot machines when in reality it’s just cheesy Chuck E Cheese tokens dropping out of the token machine.

4. CON- This one goes hand in hand with #3 and involves the flashing lights and occasional sounds of loud bells and whistles, all just indicating some small player just whacked all 6 moles in their craniums successfully with a red plastic mallet.

5. CON- Just one more location where Momma is has to deal with a mini-diva meltdown because the munchkin does not ever ever ever want to leave.

6. CON- Repeated mini-heart attacks given to me by almost 6 ft tall costumed walking rodent, appearing out of nowhere to mingle with the kids and scare the pee out of unsuspecting parents like myself.

For more info on what new and vintage bacteria you and your child can be exposed to at Chuck E Cheese visit this link, where the site MOMLOGIC did their own scientific research on the hidden friends residing at the 2nd Happiest Place on Earth.

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