Holiday Toys, Tears, Tongue & Bourbon in the Barcalounger

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Hope your December 25th, 2012 was joyous and  filled with love and family.


 Your Christmas Day was better than most if:

1. Your darling kids decimated only one brand new toy by the end of the day

2. Santa (aka you) forgot to buy batteries for another toy thus causing a huge (headache inducing) emotional meltdown from one of your precious crotchfruit

3. You were then told you had to run up to the supermarket and stand in an insane line waiting to purchase additional quantities of dinner rolls for your (every guest brings a dish) Christmas potluck feast  because a guest failed to bring a dish

4. And certain family members are reminding you why you can only endure the pain of biting your own tongue around them for one day per year.

The day is almost over and you are tired and cannot wait to shoo the last loved one out of your goshdarn house. Of course, your immediate family is still there, so you really won't get much peace and quiet this holiday season, but at least, no blood was shed and the police weren't called out to your residence ( this year at least).

So, find your handy tv clicker, shoo the dog out of your Barcalounger onto the floor covered with wrapping paper and empty boxes and recline in your throne for a while, you deserve it!

And don't forget to holler into the kitchen for someone to bring you a large glass of Eggnog with Bourbon, and when someone in the kitchen hollers back out to you that "all the Eggnog is gone", just kindly holler back, "no problem, I'm used to going without, so a large of glass of Bourbon without the Eggnog will have to do".







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