Monday, January 30, 2012

I have an open mind. I really do. I don't care who you sleep with or what you wear. BUTTTTTT I do have a problem with you not wearing what you wear properly.

Fella,letting your girly-man flag fly is ok by me, but dayum some of you guys you are NOT gettin 'er done right if you know what I mean.

There are a few HOW TO LOOK LIKE A REAL LIVE WOMAN rules I wanna share with you Pabst Blue Ribbon drinkin' "ladees".

RULE #1- Your shoes or boots should be of the same gender as your hairstyle ( facial hair def. included) Basicly this means if you purchased your shoes online from a gender bending vendor and you found them under the WOMEN'S SHOES, then the top of your body should reflect the same gender as the bottom of your body ie your feets.

If you're walking like a woman, you need to stop on by Cheri's Shear Cuts and get yourself a nice fe-male haircut OR order yourself a lovely WOMAN'S wiglet from another online vendor who sells other folks hair. You also need to SHAVE any additional hairs off of your face as well. The whiskers around your chin, detract from the I AM A WOMAN statement you are attempting to make.

RULE #2- Boy's you must take a long and I mean lonnnngggg and HONEST look at your body type, so you can decide what ladee's clothing items look best on your figure. Choosing badly in this area will cause you to stand-out in public like a sore-man's thumb. Every body, man or woman does not look good in spandex, short short shorts or short short skirts,high knee high and over the knee high boots etc. Just because you want to look a like a ladee, doesn't mean you want to look like a ladee who spends her time propping up the street lights on the wrong side of town.

Also, please shave any hairs that will be visible on your body ( except for the hair upon your head). Unless you are striving to appear to be a vegan,patchoulli incense burning,hirsute, camping loving chick;then expansive amounts of visible leg and underarm hair is acceptable.

The following two photographs are from our friends over at www.peopleofwalmart.com. They ARE our friends, because they document the mistakes all of us, men, women, children and "ladees" make DAILY with our fashion choices. Let's learn from others mistakes.

I'll be back at a later date for a refresher post on this topic :)


Saturday, January 28, 2012

My baby sister, God bless her, loves her "Dirty Martinis". Of course she is still a bebe next to me and life experiences and drinking skills.

I have graduated from the sorority world of "Dirty Martinis" into the grown up, grown azz woman world of "FILTHY Martinis".

Very easy to make, but major difference in flavor.

First, this weekend make some "Dirty Martinis". Have one, two or ten, I do not care, just don't drink & drive. I prefer myself to drive & drink. Much safer and less DUI's. Drive to the liquor store and drink your azz off at the residence of your choice, very simple, very easy!

Anyway, make a buttload of "Dirty Martinis" this weekend. Important recipe tip here: DO NOT WASH THE GLASSES!!!!!!!!

NEXT WEEKEND- Make more "Dirty Martinis", but pour them into the glasses from last weekend, the flavors from last weekend will have settled into the glasses and created a whole nother layer of alcohol flavored goodness and voila, you have become a grown azz woman and you are drinking with the big dogs, you are now drinking the infamous "FILTHY MARTINI"!!!! TA DA!!

Feel honored, I don't share my wino secrets with just any biitches, oops I meant bodies, my bad. Anyway ENJOY!!!!


I am slowly becoming a crazy old cat lady.
Except I do not have ONE cat.
I don't like to personally smell unpleasant.
I also do not like the smell of cat urine or the millions of people who unbeknownest to them arrive at work, enter the elevator with me and smell of cat urine.
So I guess until cats quit peeing, I will just continue becoming a crazy old cat lady (without the cat part).


Thursday, January 26, 2012

This triptastic video is what happens when someone wants to push the limits and try something new; like attaching a Go Pro small camera to your hula hoop.

So Demi, don't be a hog, pass that can of Reddi-Whip, I wanna get this trippy party started!!!!!


Since I'm so ovah FACEBOOK, I am now renewing my love affair with my OWN personal website.

Here are some pics that make me shiit AND grin :)


I've decided to return to my blog to post my thoughts as Facebook is making me ill. I absolutely HATE the format FACEBOOK is making me use now and I just CAN NOT with them right now. Plus my left ear has been stuffed up for over a week and I can only juggle one stressful thing at a time.


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