Wednesday, April 7, 2010
The first thing I’d like to know is when and where has my 7 yr old budding fashionista spent time hanging around hobos? I also asked myself when was the last time I heard someone actually use the word “hobo”? But just last week, my overly precocious and equally exasperating mini diva informed me one morning before school, that she wouldn’t be able to wear the cute new plaid long sleeve shirt I purchased for her because in her words, “ She was not going to school dressed like a hobo.”
After my initial shock wore off, I then had to give her my momma’s stock’ I know fashion, you don’t speech”, because honestly what does my 7 yr old daughter know about the fashion inspirations of driftless homeless males who spend their days jumping on and off of train cars in various train yards around the country. Seriously, a hobo? Seriously? Even the homeless people you see in L.A. aren’t called hobos, or at least not in my presence and I have certainly never noted a preponderous of these men wearing sz 7/8, lovely teal, pink and green plaid shirts from the little girls department in Tarjay.
For any other mommies or daddies out there who occasionally find yourselves in early morning fashion stand-offs before school, feel free to copy my frequently used “momma’s knows fashion and you don’t” speech below.
It goes like this:
“Sweet pea, (speaking to daughter), I don’t know what would make you think that this lovely blouse that momma bought for you would make you look like a hobo, but you are mistaken. I know fashion, you do not. Momma has lived far more decades than you and I can assure you I would never dress you in a way that would reflect badly on me. (This is soo true, I’m shallow this way)
Sweet pea’s response: “The kids at school will tell me they think it’s ugly.”
Now I am riled, because if there is one thing I can’t stand, it’s my child deferring to the unproven and underdeveloped intellect of her 7 yr old school yard peers.
My response, (which I have told her numerous times in the past and will continue to repeat until I die).
“Sweet pea, how many times has momma told you that you do not base your decision making on those little kids you go to school with? Those little kids know less than you do. You make decisions based on what momma tells you not little kids who pick their nose, pee their pants and still can’t tie their own shoes. Seriously, sweetpea why would you want to make your decisions based on what your grubby little friends think? These kids are gonna be lucky if they grow up and earn a GED by the age of 30. These are not the people to be telling you what to do or how to do it. Seriously.”
This part our discourse usually makes her see the error of her ways, so even though she acquiesced and said she would wear the lovely teal, pink and green plaid shirt to school, she did clarify that once she got to school she was going to take it off and put it in her backpack; because she still didn’t want to look like a hobo.
And this was how this particular morning prepping for 1st grade with a budding fashionista played out. Momma couldn’t wait to get to work.