“O, what men dare do! What men may do!What men daily do, not knowing what they do!”
Spoken by Claudio from Shakespeare’s play, MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING”
They (those omnipotent and all knowing ‘THEY’) have told us for decades, “The truth will set you free”.
I can honestly say to you three years ago, I came face to face with the TRUTH, and the last emotion I felt, was FREE. Adjectives that could have been more aptly used to describe my state of being in that moment of truth was DEVASTED, BLINDSIDED, HEARTBROKEN, BETRAYED, PISSED and I could go on.
When I took my marriage vows, I didn’t need a dictionary at hand to understand the words: vows, fidelity, loyalty, wedlock, and married. But obviously, there are many many men and many women (I’m allegedly speaking to you Tiger, Kobe, Eddie, Miguel and millions of others) who need a refresher course on the basic tenets of marriage and the vows exchanged between the two parties involved at the ceremony.
Using numbered points, I would love to reiterate the very important ideas and definitions behind the institution of marriage and why having sex with someone other than your spouse is called CHEATING ( you stupid STD-carrying, lack of self-control-having, dumb as a box of unused condoms rutting animals).
Obviously I need to clarify i.e break it down to those of you fidelity-challenged humans who are utterly confused about what your wedding vows really and truly meant (or were supposed to mean).
WHAT MARRIAGE MEANS:
1. If you are married to one person you cannot and should not engage in any type of physical, emotional, romantic and/or sexual activity with any human or animal other than the person currently recognized as your ‘lawfully wedded spouse”.
2. Your loyalties should be to your wife and your kids; anonymous hoochies and skanks on your jock must be ignored.
3. By lawfully marrying your spouse you have in essence told her and the world that she is revered by you above all other women (accept your momma). Any money you earn belongs to your wife and the household and any disposable income you may have jingling in your pockets should be either be placed in your kids piggy banks for their future vocational school educations or for taking your wifey out for an evening out away from the kids, pref. RED LOBSTER. Your money should NEVER be used to purchase food, gas, pay bills for, rent motels rooms for or to entertain any women other your spouse (or your momma).
4. If you are married you should never be nude and aroused in front of any women other than your spouse.
( your momma shouldn’t see this side of you at your age)
5. THE ONLY PERSON YOU SHOULD BE ENGAGING IN SEX ACTS WITH IS YOUR SPOUSE. Got it??? NO exceptions!!!!!!!!
And to my ladies, if you find your significant other is continuing to have difficulties with the basic premise behind marriage and keeping his dick in his pants; then girl, let him go!
A lot of men have kicked the best women to the curb and jumped the fence ignorantly believing the grass is green on the other side and they come to find out, that shiiit was just ASTRO-TURF!
Leave his STD-carrying AZZ over there, pick up yourself, your self-esteem and your babies and go rock your own world!
My friend Shakespeare said it like this……..
Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more,
Men were deceivers ever,
One foot in sea, and one on shore,
To one thing constant never.
Then sigh not so, but let them go,
And be you blithe and bonny,
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into hey nonny nonny.
Spoken by Balthasar from Shakespeare’s play, MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING”