Felica’s Five Questions for Friday

Friday, November 6, 2009

Felica’s Five Questions for Friday

FYI- My mind never rests. I am always thinking, pondering, wondering, mind wandering, jumping tracks, etc. Sometimes I don’t have all the answers to some of life’s most enduring questions. So I’ll ask 5 of those questions right now.

1. WTF are young girls learning in SEX-ED class in school when they have to bring 10 different loser guys onto MAURY POVICH’s show to determine which one is her baby’s daddy? And does MAURY’S show get a bulk DNA testing discount at some local laboratory near the studio where the show is taped?

2. If you begin dating a guy who is ALREADY incarcerated, exactly what Top 5 qualities do you look for in a mate?
Cause your Top 5 couldn’t be my Top 5 and my Top 5 include silly things like:
#1. guy must be employed ( maybe you consider making license plates a valid job)
my #2 guy should have no criminal history ( feel free to skip this one for your guy and just go straight to)
my #3 guy should not owe more in monthly child support than I make in a month
my #4 guy should be disease free specifically STD FREE ( since your guy spends his days and nights watching his ass literally, you can skip this one and go straight to)
my #5 guy must smart & successful ( unless your guy’s main goal in life was to become incarcerated, then nevermind this one too).

Good luck to you and your jailbird boyfriend and just please do me a favor and do not get his name tattooed on your body ok?

3. I watch the reality TV show, HOARDERS and I understand it is a mental disorder where people have either collected too many things or cannot let go of too many things. But does this disorder give you carte blanche to be the nastiest, filthiest residence in your zip code? How is not picking up your own feces on your bathroom floor a part of your disorder? And how did your turd get on your bathroom floor in the first place?

4. If a woman spends thousands of dollars on plastic surgery procedures to her face, then did she get her money's worth if she walks into a crowded room and everyone can look at her face and pinpoint correctly every procedure she has had done?

5. How many 85 year old men living in 1 bedroom apartments struggling to make ends meet on social security are juggling 3 bleached blonde barely 20 year old girlfriends?


Anonymous said...

Felica you are halarious. Sometimes I wonder about the stuff you post... the carpool lane one. But I loved todays... I enjoy reading your silly little blog. It highlights my day.


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