After being born and raised in the backwoods of rural Louisiana outside a lovely lil city called Shreveport. And then moving and residing for many more years in a large bustling metropolis like Los Angeles, I’d like to think I am informed and insightful enough to make the following observations about the differences between those folks residing in rural country areas and their urban city-fied living counterparts.
Please enjoy what I have lovingly decided to call:
1. Country Mouse sleeps with his sister. City Mouse sleeps with his 21yr old step-mother.
2. Country Mouse completes his education with a GED (if he’s an over-achiever). City Mouse completes his education by receiving an MBA, (purchased by his father funding the construction of the new wing of the campus library).
3. Country Mouse accidentally impregnates his underage girlfriend and her parents sign off on their 14 yr old daughter getting legally hitched. City Mouse accidentally impregnates his family’s maid’s underage daughter; and she is swiftly shipped off to her parent’s country of origin, never to be heard from again.
4. Country Mouse’s department store of choice is Wal-Mart or occasionally the Quickie-Mart. City Mouse’s department store of choice is anywhere a Black American Express is accepted.
5. Country Mouse’s haircut runs around $10 for a wash and mullet. City Mouse’s hair care costs run around $50 for a shampoo, deep conditioning $55, full foil $175, blow out $75, flat iron $55 and $80 for the small package of high quality blow lovingly slipped into her Prada bag.